Poetry Rivals 2016

Taking poetry from the page to the stage!

The Office Bitch

Very recently Natasha won promotion
In the office she’s caused quite a commotion
And I have to admit we said some nasty stuff
As to why she’d been appointed instead of us
‘It’s favouritism, pure and simple
She’s got long blonde hair and a cheeky dimple
She wears her skirts short and gets in early
Those classic signs should have made us wary’
At breaks she takes him a coffee and bun
Leans over to reveal the shape of her bum
Wears low cut tops that are far too tight
I wonder where she sleeps at night?
That dental work must have cost a packet
And who do you think paid for that jacket?
And look at her shoes – they’re Jimmy Choos
Oh my God! They’re Jimmy Choos!
Her computer skills are poor by comparison
To overweight, bespectacled Alison
Her telephone manner is not the best
But that’s less important than her double D chest
Her toe and fingernails she paints bright red
Her intention was clearly to lure him to bed
She resolutely ignored all the other girls’ glares
As she fixed our boss with hypnotic stares
For three whole months did our boss resist
But Natasha had staying power and did persist
She savagely exploited her feminism
To achieve what’s known as ‘the management position’
But Natasha had reckoned without Fiona
The boss’ wife with the bulldog persona
She soon sniffed out The Office Bitch
Chewed her up and spat out the bits
Natasha was no match for the likes of Fiona
(The boss’ wife with the bulldog persona)
Who dealt with Natasha as a matter of course
Then served her husband with a file for divorce
Before settling herself down to watch TV
With a satisfied smile and large G&T

Catherine Scott